literature

Homer Simpson Enters D'oh Battle!

Deviation Actions

Published: Dec 6, 2016

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Literature Text

HOMER SIMPSON

Full Name: Homer Jay Simpson Sr.
Age: Likely anywhere between 40 and 50
Occupation: Safety inspector for Sector 7G at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant
Affiliations: Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, NASA, etc.
Theme:

FEATS
-Is one of the most recognizable cartoon characters in history
-Has saved his hometown of Springfield more than once
-Fought Peter Griffith from Family Guy to a standstill
-Has been to various places around the world, Heaven, outer space and even Hell itself
-Defeated Mario in a rather brief battle
-Won a Grammy and an Academy Award
-Was once Mark Hamill's bodyguard
-Helped fight off a zombie invasion brought upon by Bart Simpson
-Once killed Death itself and became a Grim Reaper for a short time
-During his stay in Hell, ate "all the donuts in the world"
-In Lego Dimensions, teamed up with the likes of Batman, Gandalf, the Ghostbusters and numerous others to save the Lego multiverse
-Reclamed his family's sailboat painting from the Robot Chicken Nerd
>I could not make this up if I tried

SKILL
-Shown to be an excellent fighter, as evidenced by his fight with Peter Griffin
-Has worked at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant for many years
-A good singer?
-An excellent driver...most of the time
-Has taken up many jobs over the years, as he has been an assassin, a mall Santa, a songwriter, a bodyguard, etc.

STRENGTH

-Strangles Bart on a regular basis
-Carries a large boulder with ease
-Used a motorcycle as a sword
-Matched Peter Griffin in battle
>Said battle was enough to destroy much of Springfield
-Broke through metal chains with ease...while underwater
-While trying to get Bart's Butterfinger candy bar, jumped and landed so hard that car alarms started going off
-Throw a cinder block hard enough to smash through the hull of a boat
-Killed Death itself by hitting him in the head with a bowling ball
-Dragged a UFO down with body fat alone
-Managed to overpower two of the California Raisins
-Plowed through parodies of the South Park kids without much resistance
-Lifted and trilled the emperor of Japan over his head and tossed him dozens of feet.
-In Simpsons Hit and Run, he can kick mailboxes out of the ground, break trees in half, and kick over street lights

SPEED

-Can run at speeds that could rival a Olympic gold medalist
-Can keep up with Bart on many occasions
-Chased a Dominoes Pizza van on all fours...with very little success
-Can move fast enough to leave a blur
>Not only did he leave a blur, he also left behind a literal outline
-Was chased by Ned Flanders throughout town-through an imploding building, oncoming traffic, etc.

DURABILITY

-Appears to be nigh-indestructible
-Survived various Couch Gags, including getting stomped on by a giant foot, being stranded in the desert, and even a Robot Chicken sketch
-Survived falling off Springfield Gorge more than once
-Survived multiple heart attacks
-Shrugged off getting electrocuted
-Took hits from Mickey Mouse...I think
-Can somehow withstand radioactive materials
-Took several hits from canonballs
-Survived a fall from the Grand Canyon
-Shrugged off getting crushed by a UFO
-While in Hell, survived getting chopped into multiple pieces
-Survived being slammed repeatedly by a wrecking ball onto a giant fork point and a huge rock
-Has survived and won a robot fighting competition, having acted as a robot with only a thin piece of metal as protection, and survived the onslaughts of other robots which had guns, chainsaws, etc.
-Survived getting his heart ripped out by a Xiaolin monk
-Took a drawbridge closing on his head, and some cars running over it, with no lasting injuries
-In Simpsons Hit and Run, can survive being inside of an exploding car

WEAPONS/ABILITIES AND EQUIPMENT

Hand-to-hand Combat

-Homer has many years of combat experience
-Was able to hold his own against Peter Griffin
-Was a boxer at one point since he couldn't go down so easily, no matter how many hits he took
>The only boxer who could beat him was world heavyweight champion Drederick Tatum, who knocked him out in one punch

Experience with firearms

-Homer has been shown to have experience with various weapons and firearms, including but not limited to:
>Hand guns
>Shotguns
>Machine guns
>Crossbows
>A shotgun loaded with makeup (literally)
>Etc.

Hammer

-Technically, it's a mallet, but you get the idea
-Ideal for either whack-a-molecules or whacking an opponent

Knives

-Common kitchen tool primarily used for cutting food

Chainsaw

-A tool commonly used by lumberjacks, builders, etc.
-Perfect for use as a bludgeoning weapon...
-...or for scaring the sh*t out of little kids

Axe

-Another tool used by lumberjacks and could be a potential bludgeoning weapon

Baseball Bat

-I think this is self-explanatory.

Miniature Nukes

-Miniature explosives similar to the atomic bombs that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki
-Although they have a fraction of said bombs' explosive power, they can still inflict some damage on whatever it hits

Bombs

-Basically traditional-looking type of bombs

Magic Hammock

-Basically a hammock with magical properties

-Can create an undisclosed amount (anywhere between thousands and potentially millions) of Homer clones

Monkey's Paw

-A magical monkey's paw that can grant wishes
-Has four fingers; each time a wish is made, a finger will go down
-However, each wish is said to have negative side effects

Inanimate Carbon Rod

-A rod made of carbon
-Two such rods thwarted Homer's quest for respect
-Likely has traces of plutonium
-In Lego Dimensions, happens to be one of the "foundation elements" used to rule over all dimensions
-Might make for a decent bludgeoning weapon

Toaster Time Machine

-It's basically what it sounds like
-When used, Homer can go back as far as the time of the dinosaurs
-When he returns to the present, he could potentially find himself in an alternate timeline

Lisa's Science Fair Project

The-Simpsons-Season-16-Episode-5-40-82a7 by goldsilverbronzekid

-A science project created by Homer's daughter Lisa
-Powered by plutonium that he stole from work
-According to Homer himself, has enough destructive power to destroy an entire tri-city area

Awards

-All of the various awards that Homer won over the years
-Perfect to use as throwing projectiles

MUGEN MOVESET
mugen.wikia.com/wiki/Homer_Sim…

FOOD ITEMS/DRINKS

-Homer has been shown to have the ability to eat and/or drink just about anything
>This, in itself, is likely inconsistent
-Some of these food/drink items include:
>Donuts (his personal favorite)
>Pizza
>Meat
>Duff Beer
>Buzz Cola
>Burgers
>Candy
>Doritos
>Coca Cola
>Icee
>CC's Potato Chips
>C.C. (a japanese fruit drink)
>Ritz crackers
>Etc.

VEHICLES

Sedan

-Homer's most well known means of transportation
-A 1973 Plymouth Valiant
-Uses it almost exclusively, although Marge, Bart, Lisa and even Maggie have driven it at some point
-Features:
>Minor damage on the left front fender (which Homer has never had repaired)
>A driver's side airbag
>A column shifter
>A bent up radio aerial
>Has a *Trackstar 8-Track radio

The Homer

-A car designed by Homer when his half-brother, Herb, gave him a job at Powell Motors
-Has a sticker price of $82,000
-Is said to be harder to control than his pink Sedan
-Features:
>Two bubble domes; one in the front, while the one in the back is for quarreling kids, and comes with optional restraints and muzzles
>According to Homer, has an engine sound that causes people to think "the world's coming to an end"
>Three horns, as Homer claims that "you can never find a horn when you're mad"
>>Said horns play the song "La Cucaracha"
>Gigantic cupholders, which actually became a feature on many cars in the 1990s onward
>Various outdated features such as shag carpeting and tailfins

LA-Z Rider

-A modified version of his couch
-Theme Song:

-Features:
>Rocket thrusters for moving at high speeds
>>In real life, certain rocket thrusters can move fast enough to reach escape velocity (40,270 km/h or 25,020 mph)
>Its own set of arms (complete with handguns)
>Sunglasses and a mouth (no other explanation needed)

Toyota Prius

-A modified Toyota Prius created by Professor Frink
-This Prius was converted into a Back to the Future-esque time machine
-Features:
>Time machine (that much is obvious)
>A superpowered engine in the back?

UNITED FEDERATION OF HOMERS THROUGH HISTORY

-A "federation" consisting of various Homers from different point in time
-Members include:
>Normal Homer
>Teen Homer from 1974
>Monk Homer
>Fat Elvis Homer
>Egyptian slave Homer
>Napoleon Homer
>Renaissance Homer
>Two-headed Homer
>Viking Homer
>Cowboy Homer
>Punk Homer
>Robin Hood Homer
>Spartan Homer
>Pope Homer
>Knight Homer
>Angel Homer
>Future/Alien Homer
>Businessman Homer
>Sailor Homer
>Andre the Giant-esque Wrestler Homer
>Fop Homer

FORMS AND ALTER EGOS

Pie Man

-Homer's superhero persona
-Very appropriately named, as he uses pies as his main weapon

Captain Quiche

-Basically just his Pie Man persona, but he uses eggs instead of pies

Radioactive Homer

-Acquired during his fight with Peter Griffin
-Increases his strength and grants him radioactive abilities
-A collision between him and a radioactive Peter Griffin nearly destroyed Springfield

3D Homer

-Acquired via a gateway to the third dimension
>Said gateway happens to be located behind his family's bookcase
-The third dimension can be "destroyed" if he throws something like a cone into the ground
-Should that happen, Homer could find himself in the real world

Gold Giant Homer

-For when he needs to fantasize about being rich?

Lego Homer

-Homer as he appears in Lego Dimensions
-In this form, Homer can increase his size, thereby increasing his strength
-Can also create burps powerful enough to break glass

Grim Reaper Homer

-Acquired after Homer killed the Grim Reaper and took his place
-In this form, Homer can kill an opponent simply by touching them
-Comes with a scythe for obvious reasons
-Gives Homer the ability to levitate in the air

King Homer

-Obvious parody of King Kong
-Likely has some of the same abilities as Kong (immense strength, acute intelligence, immunity to electricity, etc.)

Homerzilla

-Obvious parody of Godzilla
-Likely has some of the same abilities as Godzilla (Atomic Breath, Nuclear Pulse, Regeneration, Magnetic Abilities, etc.)

Blob Homer

-Obvious parody of The Blob
>Not the one from Marvel Comics
-Acquired after eating green goo from a meteorite
-Turns Homer into a massive Jell-O-like monster
-Anyone and anything that gets inside WILL literally dissolve within seconds

Donut Homer

-I don't think this needs any explanation

WEAKNESSES

The Simpsons Behind the Laughter homer injured by goldsilverbronzekid

-Despite his durability, can still feel pain and be subject to mortal injury
-Intelligence seems to be random and inconsistent
>The same could be said about his strength
-Is kind of an idiot for the most part
-Is pretty lazy
-Sometimes has a short temper
-Can easily be scared and frightened at times
-Excessive self-indulgence
-Forms such as Homerzilla and King Homer are virtually unattainable
-Beer and TV
>In his own words, "No beer and TV make Homer go crazy"

(Homer: "Trying is the first step towards failure.")